Stuck

I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I'm not chirpy, I don't like hanging out with my usual kaki; rather, I prefer the company of my housemates, best friends, or plain solitude, I'm increasingly adverse to smoke, I can't stand poker, and ultimately I miss home, my parents and my sisters, June who's far away in Bristol, Nadia who isn't too far away in Tooting, Yen in Sydney, Dian, Toi, MF, Phing, Siew Wan, Nat, Sook Kuan and all my other girlfriends in KL. I feel hollow, like nothing I do brings out any reaction in me. The only emotions that haven't left me are homesickness and my inherent possessiveness.

I think what I really miss is the company of girls. Constantly hanging out with a group of boys has its cons sometimes. They just don't provide you the same comfort that girls do. And boys think girls have too many problems. Please la. I think both genders have the same amount of problems - boys just don't like talking about them, and that makes them muddled up creatures. Girls on the other hand will talk about everything and anything under the sun which is why we're at our happiest when we've let all our shit out.

England isn't fun anymore. I had enjoyed my time here during A-Levels, but uni is excruciatingly tough. Every time I go for class I am reminded of the ever increasing amount of work that's piling up on me.

I need a break. Reading week is next week. I'm glad we don't have any essays to do. All I wanna do is go home and have some fun for a week or two. Home. Home. Home.