Bleak horizon

I am unable to study. To be painfully honest, I have been incapable of studying for a long time. Every day I sit at my desk and spend the first 2 hours staring into the depths of my laptop screen, clicking away at random links. Procrastination is a common disease anyway. I hate this feeling of being weak and incapacitated. Sometimes I wish I had a genie that would grant me a sponge for a brain to soak up all this info. It's excruciating, having to slog through each day, wondering what I am to achieve out of all this text book mugging. It's because I want to graduate with a good degree and have something to distinguish me from any other average Jane or Joe right? But what do I do with my degree? Get a job and earn a living right? And then what happens after I'm done working? Retire. And hopefully live a peaceful life until I can return to my Maker's hands.

But is life actually meant to be so mapped out like that? If our world is so vast and there are many things yet to be discovered why is it that the lives of the majority can be confined to a stigmatic cycle of study and work? Who decided that the apogees of life are graduating, getting married, and one's firstborn (actually it was my mum, but I was trying to adapt it to context)? Putting aside the economic stirrups that stimulate society to function, why can't we just laze our days away soaking up sun rays and do things that don't require brain power? What is our true purpose in life really? It's a recurring question and these days it's been coming back more often than usual to bug me. I take comfort in that there is Someone much bigger than me and Someone whom I cannot comprehend who holds all the answers to these questions. But man being curious creatures, I want to know when I can get these answers. And it annoys me that I have to push through 80 years in this state of confusion. And that's not even counting the life years of each subsequent generation until Judgment Day arrives. And we think waiting 3 hours in a doctor's queue is unacceptable. When I see Eve I'm going to tell her off for eating that apple.

Stinky fruits and body talk

Why does cherry compote taste so bad? Most preserved fruits taste good, like, you could add salt (among other condiments) to mango and make a mean mango jeruk. Even marmalade is strangely addictive. But cherry compote, or even those preserved cherries you get in cakes, tastes disgusting. I looked up some recipes for cherry compote and was surprised to find that cough syrup isn't involved. What gives it its sickly bittersweet flavour is liqueur. Some people use brandy, others use red wine. Anyway, whoever came up with the idea of preserving cherries should be shot. Cherries are best enjoyed fresh, plump and juicy. In fact, that's the only way they should be eaten!


I've realised that as I grow older, I feel more and more comfortable in my skin. This doesn't mean I don't use cosmetic products ok. I am all for the principle that cosmetic products enhances your appearance and gives you that added boost of confidence . And it's a good feeling, knowing that you can walk out your house with moisturizer, a little foundation and cream blusher on your face and think, I look BEAUTY QUEEN good. HELL YEAH! But I've really come to appreciate the way my body is built. I don't wish I was taller or thinner, had a smaller forehead or slimmer calves. I have my "fat days" at times, but I don't obsess about my weight. I eat when I'm hungry, and I watch what I put in my mouth and make sure not to overdose on the calorie count. More importantly I've mastered the art of smart shopping *beams proudly*. Clothes, like make-up, does wonders for you. People often make the mistake of believing that there is one universal Small size. THAT IS NOT TRUE. I used to think I was fat because my Goggles top was in a Medium!!! How sad it is that most local brands are made for flat chested people and don't give much breathing room for ample hips and thighs. Continental brands are more accustomed to these needs. So it's not like I'm brand conscious and only buy from MNG or Topshop but it's because I know that these brands work for me and I stick to them. At the same time, I try to steer clear of certain cuts or materials because they make me look lumpy. I used to have a lot of trouble finding jeans or pants that fit because of my large thighs, but that changed when MNG came to KL. It's no secret that I worship the brand, but they are seriously THAT admirable. Where else can you find fashion forward clothes in petite sizes at reasonable prices? Huh? HUH????

Today I was went to Kensington High Street to do some window shopping. My first stop was obviously MNG, but horror of all horrors! It had been replaced by the David Bitton boutique. I was about to walk away but the 70% off and the display rack that looked MNGish swayed me instore. And I am so glad I went in because I would not have found the greatest jeans maker ever. They hug you at the right places and perky-fies your butt. And man, are they comfy. The price of their jeans range from about £80 onwards. I bought a pair of slacks which had been discounted from £83 to £25. BARGAIN!!!!!! They also do a range called iJeans which are limited edition jeans that have been specially customised and express the needs of different individuals. Unfortunately, even after the discount the iJeans were still beyond my budget. I am going to David Bitton again to get my slacks altered and buy another pair :D

Maybe when I am much older and have the dosh to splurge on designer items I should write a style book ala Victoria Beckham. Her book is titled "That Extra Half an Inch". Mine will be "That Extra Half A Foot"!